Bottoms Up

Let’s face it, being a bottom in the bedroom is not always easy. It not only can take a little more effort and preparation but we don’t always get the respect we deserve.

Your sexual position, role and personal turn-ons are nothing to ever be ashamed of. We say, enough of bottom shaming and booty stigma!

So, in honour of all the bottoms out there, here are some handy tips to help make your sex life easier, safer and hotter than ever:

• First things first: To have anal sex (and enjoy it), you and your top partner need to take things slow. Take your time, breath and try to relax before you get jiggy with it.
• While the anus and rectum do not usually store faeces (poo), there may be remnants left behind. Before having sex, have a shower or bath and gently clean yourself with your fingers and warm water and soap.
• You may want to start with some foreplay, such as letting your partner finger you using plenty of water-based lube as you relax.
• Unlike a vagina, the anus is not naturally lubricated. It’s for this reason that it is important to use lots of water-based lube when having anal sex. Lube makes the anus smooth and slippery so that a penis can enter it more comfortably. Lube makes sex more enjoyable and also prevents condoms from tearing. Use lots of it!
• If you feel pain at any point, ask him to stop and be still for a little while he’s inside of you, and then let him try move again. If you’re not enjoying it, ask your partner to stop. You can try again later. It may take several attempts for you to feel comfortable.
• When you’re having sex, you may feel like you want to go to the toilet. This is natural. In time your body will learn to know the difference between having anal sex and needing to go to the loo.
• It’s important to have fun, laugh and don’t take it all too seriously. After all, it’s just sex!
• Remember that the receptive (bottom) is at most risk of HIV infection during bareback (condomless) compared to the top partner.
• Anal sex without lube can not only be painful but the sensitive lining of the anus is more susceptible to cuts and abrasions during sex. These cuts and internal scrapes allow for HIV that may be present in the top’s cum or pre-cum to get into contact with the bottom’s bloodstream. Using lube helps reduce and tears or cuts to the anus.
• Using condoms and water-based lubricant is still your best defence against both HIV and STIs (sexually transmitted infections).
• If you are a bottom who is HIV negative, you should also be using PrEP, the daily HIV prevention pill. While PrEP does not protect you from other STIs it is extremely effective against HIV, even if you do not use condoms.
• If you are HIV positive, you need to be on ARVs and stay on your treatment. ARVs not only lower your risk of passing HIV onto your partner but also keeps you healthy.
• Get tested for STIs and HIV every six months. Why not ask for an HIV self-testing kit, so you can test at your own convenience?

Engage Men’s Health in Johannesburg, Nelson Mandela Bay and Buffalo City can help keep your sex life safe and healthy. Contact us for free condoms and water-based lube as well as free HIV and STI screenings, PrEP, ARVs and HIV self-testing kits. Call or Whatsapp 082 607 1686 for more information.