Male Rape & Sexual Assault: The Unspoken Taboo
The legal definition of rape in South Africa is when someone intentionally penetrates another person’s vagina, anus or mouth with any body part, or any other object, without that person’s consent. This means that rape applies to everyone, men, women and non-binary individuals. Sexual assault goes broader and includes any sexual contact or simulation that does not involve penetration, without the consent of one of the parties.
Historically, rape was thought to be and was often defined as a crime committed solely against women. Many people believe the myth that men can’t be sexually assaulted or raped, but the reality is that a significant proportion of victims of rape or other sexual violence incidents are men.
Other myths that have been perpetuated centre on the constructs surrounding masculinity and what it is to be a ‘real’ man. Men are deemed as independent, tough, rational and unemotional. In contrast, women are understood as weaker, emotional, sensitive and passive. These misguided beliefs have deep roots in our society which impacts the way we perceive the world.
Accepting this logic means taking on the view that ‘real’ men cannot be raped. This statement is simply untrue, unkind and dangerous. This problematic way of thinking has a profound number of negative effects on a victim and discourages survivors from coming forward.
Male rape remains very much a taboo issue and is rarely discussed as a reality in society. A CDC study found that, in the US, 1 in 71 men had been raped or suffered an attempt within their lifetime. According to America’s RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), 1 out of every 10 rape victims is male. Of all men who are raped, most (90 to 95%) do not report the crime according to the Australian group, Living Well.
“The Unspoken Victims, a national study of male rape incidents and police investigations in South Africa” was published in the South African Medical Journal in 2020. It reported that many adult males experience violent rape with armed perpetrators who often humiliate the victim. Another study found that older male victims are more likely to report these incidents than teen or younger men, but that the chances of younger men getting raped or sexually assaulted are a lot higher than older men.
Community and service providers often react differently to male victims based on their sexual orientation and the gender of their perpetrators. It may be difficult for male victims to report a sexual assault they experienced, especially in a society with a strong masculine custom. They might be afraid that people will doubt their sexual orientation and label them homosexual, especially if raped by a man, or that they may be seen as un-masculine because they were a victim.
Gay, bi or other men who have sex with men (MSM) may also worry that others might believe that their being raped or sexually assaulted had something to do with their sexuality, that they provoked it, or that it’s not as severe for them because they are gay or bi. They may also fear reporting as this may ‘out’ them, or because they could face stigmatisation from the police about their sexuality.
Men who use recreational drugs, especially GHB, have a much higher risk of getting raped (often called drug rape) than non-users. Reporting can become more problematic as the victims, in addition to the shame associated with sexual violation, are often also scared to go to the police because of stigma and criminalisation of drugs.
It’s common for male victims to try to hide and deny their victimisation, like female victims, unless they have serious physical injuries. Male victims may be very vague in explaining their injuries when they are seeking medical or mental health services.
Many victims view their rape as just a physical assault and while they might seek assistance for physical injuries, they usually do not seek counselling to help manage the emotional after-effects of the rape.
If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault here are some of the universal things you might experience after the incident:
- Emotional shock
- Disbelief and/or denial
- Embarrassment
- Shame
- Guilt
- Depression
- Powerlessness
- Disorientation
- Flashbacks
- Fear of things you did not before
- Feelings of panic or anxiety around having HIV
- Anger
- Physical stress
What do I do if I have been a victim?
- Get to safety or find a place where you will be safe
- Get medical care (request PEP within 72 hours of the incident to avoid possible HIV infection)
- Make a report to the police
- Seek out trauma counselling
- Know your rights as a victim
The booklet “When a man is raped: A survival guide” is from Australia so it is not fully applicable to the South African context, but it has some general useful information and advice. You can download it here. https://livingwell.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/WhenAManIsRaped.pdf
Support contacts in South Africa:
The second-oldest LGBT organisation in South Africa, OUT provides stigma-free HIV, sexual health and other services to gay, bisexual and MSM communities.
Telephone: 012 430 3272 / 066 190 5812
A safe space for the LGBTIQ+ community to engage and receive support.
Telephone: 068 022 4581
Telephone: 0861 322 322 / 011 728 1347
Foundation provides access to crisis intervention, advocacy, counselling, and prevention education services for those impacted by domestic violence, sexual assault and child sexual abuse. Confidential services are provided to all victims at no charge.
Telephone: 010 590 5920
The new acronym SAMSOSA (South African Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse) will serve as a resource and referral centre, providing information, support and training for victims, affected individuals and organisations in a safe, non-judgmental structure. In addition, we will act as an advocacy group for non-offending male rape and abuse survivors to create awareness and understanding that will change social attitudes and structures.
Telephone: 071 280 9918