Touched For The Very First Time

Whether you’re a young guy just starting to explore your sexuality or someone coming out and embracing your true self later in life, this moment can be both exciting and a bit nerve-wracking.

For many guys, having sex for the first time might have been spontaneous, driven by the heat of the moment without much planning. But being prepared can make a huge difference, helping you feel more relaxed and confident.

Engage Men’s Health is here to guide you through this new adventure with practical tips to ensure it’s a positive and safe experience.

1. Communicate Openly

First things first, let’s talk about communication. Open and honest conversation with your partner is key. Share your thoughts, fears, and desires. It’s okay to admit if you’re nervous or inexperienced. Your partner’s understanding can make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. Remember, sex should always be consensual and comfortable for everyone involved.

2. Psychological Preparation

Getting mentally prepared is just as important as the physical aspect. Understand that it’s okay to feel a mix of excitement and nerves. Take time to reflect on your feelings and expectations. It’s also helpful to talk to trusted friends or a counsellor about any anxieties you might have.

3. Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power, my friend. Learn about sex from respected sources. Websites like https://thesexyouwant.ca, https://sexetc.org and our very own Engage Men’s Health site offer reliable information. Avoid using “adult” or “porn” sites for education – while they might be exciting, they don’t provide accurate information about safe and healthy sex practices.

4. Know Your Status

Before diving into the fun, it’s essential to know your sexual health status. Get tested for HIV and other STIs. It’s a good practice to make regular testing part of your routine. Engage Men’s Health offers free testing services – so there’s no excuse!

5. PrEP and ARVs

Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of staying safe. Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) is a game-changer for HIV prevention. If you’re HIV-negative and sexually active, PrEP can reduce your risk of contracting HIV by over 99% when taken as prescribed. It’s one pill a day, and trust us, it’s worth it for your peace of mind.

For those who are living with HIV, antiretroviral (ARV) therapy is crucial. ARVs help maintain a healthy immune system and reduce the viral load to undetectable levels, which means you can’t transmit the virus to your partners (U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable). So, make sure you’re adhering to your treatment plan.

6. Use Condoms and Lube

Condoms are still one of your best friends! They’re effective in preventing both HIV and other STIs. And don’t forget the lube! Using a good water-based or silicone-based lubricant can enhance pleasure and reduce the risk of condom breakage. Never use oil-based lubricants like Vaseline with condoms as they can cause them to tear.

7. Hooking Up Safely

If you’re meeting someone new, especially online, take steps to ensure your safety. Meet in a public place first and let a friend know where you’ll be. Trust your gut – if something feels off, don’t hesitate to cancel. It’s always okay to prioritise your safety.

8. Set the Mood

Creating a comfortable environment can make a big difference. Clean your space, set up some soft lighting, and maybe even play some calming music. A relaxed setting can help ease any nerves and make the experience more enjoyable.

9. Take Your Time

There’s no rush! Take things slow and enjoy the journey. Foreplay is a fantastic way to build intimacy and can make the experience more pleasurable. Explore what feels good for you and your partner. Start with kissing and touching, and gradually move towards more intimate acts as you feel comfortable.

10. You Have the Right to Say No

Even if you’re in the moment, remember that you always have the right to say no. If something feels uncomfortable or hurts, speak up. Your partner should respect your boundaries. Consent is an ongoing process, and it’s crucial that both partners feel safe and comfortable throughout the experience.

11. Relax and Enjoy

It’s normal to feel a bit anxious but try to relax. Anxiety can make the experience less enjoyable. Deep breaths, calming thoughts, and focusing on the moment can help. Remember, it’s about connection and pleasure, not about performing perfectly.

12. Keep Learning

Sexual health and practices are ongoing learning experiences. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, seek advice, and educate yourself. Engage Men’s Health offers a wealth of articles on a wide variety of topics, providing you with resources and support every step of the way.

Remember, your first time (or anytime) should be special, consensual, and safe. With these tips, you’re well on your way to having a positive experience. If you have any questions or need support, we’re just a click away.

Stay safe, have fun, and embrace your journey!

Engage Men’s Health provides free, friendly, professional sexual health services specifically for gay, bi, and other men who have sex with men. No need for fear or shame when you utilise our services— we’ve seen and heard it all before.

Our services include:

• HIV testing and ARV treatment
• Testing and treatment for other STIs
• PrEP and PEP
• HIV self-testing kits
• Mental health support

WhatsApp message or call 082 607 1686 for information or to book an appointment.